Ever come across writing where you can see the accent written down? That’s known as “eye dialect” and it’s a love it or hate it thing— some people just categorically dismiss it, because let’s be honest: it can be, and has been, used to put across some really insulting characterizations.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. On the contrary, I formed a warm feeling toward eye dialect from a young age, probably because of the James Herriot books, which do such a heartfelt job of evoking Yorkshire (and, in one memorable sequence, Glasgow). I enjoyed the quasi-Norwegian accent of Kehaar in Watership Down, and tuned the ear of my imagination in as Mark Twain spoke for his old California prospector, Huck Finn and many more. Later I found another irresistible eye dialect voice in Kwan, of The Hundred Secret Senses. Oh, and who could forget Dickens’s immortal Sam Weller? Or Patrick O’Brian’s Killick? Eye dialects all, and wonderful characters.

So I use it too. In fact, because I like strong flavors, I lay it on as thick as the cumin on my famous corn salad. But I don’t just throw it around willy-nilly. Ah yah, I choose some trademark sound or phrase for each character, ah? A bit o’ this for one o’ ’em, an’ a bit o’ that for another. And then, me benny wight, soon thaz got writin’ to let ye feast yer seepin’ weepers!